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Westferry Times > Opinion > Opinion > The bores have won: In 2024, the office Christmas party is dead
Opinion

The bores have won: In 2024, the office Christmas party is dead

Mona Porwal
By Mona Porwal Published December 23, 2024
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What oh what has happened to the office Christmas party this year of our lord, 2024? A once cherished tradition has now descended into the realm of the mundane, the controlled, and, frankly, the joyless. Gone are the days of free-flowing cocktails, spontaneous dancing, and the kind of festive fun that has kept office party anecdotes alive for years. Now, it seems, HR departments and legal guidelines are firmly in charge, leaving no room for the reckless exuberance that made office parties both thrilling and notorious.

For my generation, the gold standard of office parties is undoubtedly the one immortalised in Love, Actually. A 21-year-old Richard Curtis classic, Love, Actually is essentially a glittery Christmas bauble of a film, perfectly capturing a time when office parties were about laughter, flirtation, and yes, a fair bit of chaos. For many of us, the film remains the archetype of what a festive work gathering should look like. But if we’re honest, it’s probably now used more as a cautionary tale for HR managers – a vivid example of how not to throw a Christmas party in today’s world of heightened sensitivity and scrutiny.

Let’s rewind to that famous scene. Alan Rickman, playing the boss of a charity, is hosting his office Christmas party. The setting is a swanky, Central London gallery, complete with large, provocative nude artworks on the walls. The alcohol flows freely, and the atmosphere is charged with anticipation. Enter Mia, the office assistant, dressed provocatively in a red mini-dress and red horns, sending the unmistakable message that she’s here for some fun — a fun that doesn’t seem to align with any office policy.

Mia, intent on causing a scene, approaches Rickman, taps him on the shoulder, and whispers, “Any chance of a dance with the boss?” What follows is a tangled web of office crushes, infidelity, and heartbreak, all set against the backdrop of a Christmas party. It’s a mess, but it’s one that is rich with the kind of raw, unpredictable energy that once defined office gatherings.

Now, fast forward to 2024. The landscape of office Christmas parties has changed beyond recognition. The Worker Protection (Amendment of Equality Act 2010) Act 2023 has made it nearly impossible to imagine anything resembling the chaos of that Love, Actually scene. The new guidelines demand that employers take proactive steps to prevent harassment, including by third parties like clients or customers, at work-related social events. Gone are the days of cheeky cocktails and spontaneous dancing; now, if you’re hosting a work event, you’re expected to implement “safeguarding” measures to ensure that absolutely nothing untoward happens.

And the financial implications are equally stifling. With the cost of hosting an office party in London during the festive season skyrocketing, many companies are choosing to simply cancel the event entirely. Why bother risking a mishap when a much safer alternative is to send employees a John Lewis voucher and call it a day?

Let’s be clear, it’s not that I advocate for a return to the chaos of the past — I’m all for creating a safe, respectful environment in the workplace. But there’s something undeniably sad about the way office parties have been neutered. They were, for better or worse, a chance to see colleagues outside the sterile, structured environment of the office. Relationships were formed, rumours were spread, and yes, mistakes were made. But it was all part of the messy, imperfect human experience that made work-life feel real.

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In the days before stringent HR policies, bosses often turned a blind eye to what went on at office parties. If a bit of flirtation or even a kiss in the stationery cupboard occurred, it was tacitly overlooked, and the veil was drawn the next morning. Now, everything is scrutinised, from the type of food served to the behaviour of employees. Companies must ensure there are no risks, which, in turn, has made the festive spirit feel more like a corporate function than a fun celebration.

Even I, a staunch libertarian and advocate for personal freedom, can see that the times have changed. It’s no longer the glittering, free-spirited world of Love, Actually, where love and chaos intertwine. Instead, we now live in a world of grey moral managerialism, where office Christmas parties are less about celebrating togetherness and more about avoiding legal pitfalls. HR has taken over, and in its wake, the festive joy has been replaced by red tape, risk assessments, and a general sense of dread.

So, what’s left? A few polite nibbles and a couple of quiet drinks at the local pub, all under the watchful eyes of HR? Perhaps. But I can’t help but long for the days when office Christmas parties were a true reflection of our personalities, flaws, and all. The bores have won, and with them, the office Christmas party is all but dead. A sad end to what was once a highlight of the festive season.

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