In what might be one of the more eyebrow-raising moments in London’s recent history, Andrew Rosindell, the Conservative MP for Romford, has launched a campaign to see his borough of Havering – which includes Romford, Upminster and Collier Row – peel away from London and rejoin Essex. According to Rosindell, Havering is, and I quote loosely, “geographically,” “historically,” and “culturally” Essex, and therefore ought to be annexed back into the county it once belonged to. It’s a bold move, not unlike Essex’s fondness for extending a house by two more bedrooms, as the MP attempts to extend Essex’s borders to reclaim Havering.
But while Havering may have its reasons, I’d argue there are far more pressing candidates for exile from the capital. Rosindell’s vision of a Havering-Essex reunion is quaint, but the question is: why stop there? If we’re going to start talking about removing boroughs from London, let’s consider some others who might be better off cut loose.
First on my list: Clapham. Yes, Clapham. This area has become so saturated with Aussies that it might as well apply for Commonwealth status of its own. It’s practically an outpost of Australia in South London. You’ve seen them – the ones who seem destined to end up back down under one day anyway. Perhaps the kinder option is to let them go now, before the whole borough tips the scales and officially flags a giant Union Jack and a kangaroo emblem. You may ask, “Does this sound a bit like 1787?” Well, yes, it’s history repeating itself, but with slightly less hardship and a bit more brunch.
Next up for exile is Camden. A borough so steeped in nostalgia and eccentricity it might as well be the setting for a living museum dedicated to Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty fans. Camden feels less like a functioning London borough in 2025 and more like a perpetual festival of leather jackets and vintage vinyl. Visitors flock there for the spectacle, the street markets, and the chance to pretend they’re in a bohemian Westworld. But let’s be honest: it’s not where Londoners actually live their daily lives. It’s time to call it what it is and consign it to the annals of London’s quirky past.
Then there’s Merton. Honestly, who has even heard of it? It’s the borough that time forgot, overshadowed by flashier neighbours and largely unknown to most Londoners who don’t live there. Alongside Merton, I’d also nominate Bexley. Why? Because the name sounds like a cross between Bromley and Brockley, and frankly, that’s enough to cause confusion. London doesn’t need more boroughs that sound like rejected Monopoly board spaces.
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Finally, we come to Richmond. Oh, Richmond. The borough that single-handedly drags down the entire city’s image by consistently topping those irritating “Happiest Place to Live” lists. London, as we all know, is a glorious mess – a fun kind of chaos where people complain with affection. Richmond’s suburban calm and pristine parks make the rest of us look like a bunch of dishevelled lunatics. It’s the Springfield to our Shelbyville, making us look foolish in comparison. So Richmond, pack your picnic blankets and get out of town.
Meanwhile, poor Havering’s MP is pleading for his borough to slip quietly out of London’s grasp and become Essex once more. Seeking greener pastures outside the capital? Searching for a better life? If anything, that sounds quintessentially London — the city that draws people in with its chaos and charm, and sometimes spits them out to the suburbs. Sorry, Andrew, but Havering is staying put.
If London is a giant, sprawling, imperfect beast — then some boroughs are more bite than bark, while others just need a polite nudge out the door. Havering’s breakaway bid might have grabbed headlines, but if we’re talking about boroughs to toss out first, Clapham, Camden, Merton, Bexley, and Richmond should be packing their bags well before Havering even gets a look in.
