Something is deeply wrong in the tunnels beneath London. Our once-orderly Underground—where people instinctively stood on the right of the escalator, stepped aside at carriage doors to let others off first, and knew the unspoken rules of polite commuting—has become a chaotic free-for-all.
As a lifelong Londoner, I have always found joy in the city’s transport network. The Tube is not just a means of getting from A to B; it’s a gateway to everything this thrilling metropolis has to offer. Whether I’m dashing to a meeting in the City, popping to Hackney Wick for an exhibition, or squeezing in a last-minute dinner in Soho, the Tube is my trusted companion.
But recently, I’ve noticed something alarming: a distinct decline in Tube etiquette. The courtesy and unspoken rules that made commuting bearable are eroding, and in their place, a wave of inconsiderate behaviour has taken hold.
The death of courtesy
Let’s start with the most egregious offenders: the suitcase-wielding tourists who invade commuter carriages during rush hour, sprawling across multiple seats. Listen, we love visitors, we really do. But if you have a plastic-wrapped suitcase the size of a Fiat 500, the morning rush is not the time to be dragging it onto the Elizabeth line. Heathrow Express exists for a reason—use it.
Then there are the door blockers, those baffling individuals who refuse to step aside when passengers are disembarking. It’s simple: let people off first, then get on. Yet, every day, I find myself muttering a passive-aggressive “After you, obviously” as someone barges past me, oblivious to the etiquette they’ve just shattered.
Eating on the Tube is another crime against decency. The stench of a lukewarm McDonald’s wafting through a crowded carriage is enough to make anyone gag. And yet, it happens. To those who indulge in full meals underground: you are monsters.
The noise offenders
Public transport should not be a stage for your personal dramas. If you want to have a screaming row with your partner, at least do it in a way that’s entertaining. But please, spare the entire carriage from the agony of listening to your hour-long dispute with HMRC. And if you’re blasting music through your phone speakers—without headphones—you might just be the worst of them all.
Even those wearing headphones are guilty of noise pollution. If the entire carriage can hear your German techno at 7:30 in the morning, you’ve got it far too loud. Commuting is grim enough without the added torment of your questionable music choices.
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The space invaders
To the backpack-wearers who swing around like human wrecking balls: take it off and put it at your feet. It’s not hard. The same goes for pole-leaners, who press their entire bodies against the central handrail, rendering it useless for anyone else. If you’re blocking the pole, you’re blocking basic safety for others—sort it out.
And while we’re on the topic of space, if you’re standing near the doors in a packed carriage, be a decent person and step off momentarily to let people out. It won’t kill you to hop back on after.
Restoring tube decorum
The truth is, we don’t need TfL posters reminding us of basic decency—we just need to be better. If someone elderly, pregnant, or struggling with a buggy steps onto the train, offer your seat. No one should have to awkwardly stand while others stare blankly at their phones, pretending not to see.
And let’s not forget kindness. If someone is being harassed or feels unsafe, make eye contact, offer silent support, or step in if necessary. The Underground should be a place where Londoners look out for each other, not just for themselves.
Finally, a small request: read a newspaper. Preferably The London Standard. There’s something effortlessly sophisticated about a commuter absorbed in print, rather than another screen-addicted zombie.
The Tube is London’s lifeblood, but lately, it’s felt more like a battleground. Let’s bring back civility, before all is lost underground.
